As I said, dear friends, when I started the Twisted Tuesday series on essential doctrines, our new apartment is right next to a Mormon temple. It should not, therefor, have taken me by surprise when two young men knocked on my door last week. This blog is not predominantly about me, unless I feel that there is something encouraging or edifying in my life to share. So, I should briefly explain some things before I continue with what happened last week. I hope this will be helpful to others who struggle in this area, regardless of the reasons. I’m not just socially inept, I’m a hermit.
The recent neurological diagnosis shed a lot of light into this area of my life. It’s actually a sensory issue, new people with different sounding voices, smells, styles of communicating can be overwhelming. Without getting to deep into the subject, my brain processes senses as attacks. Sunlight, wind, heat or cold, loud or repetitive noises, flashing lights, lots of movement, certain textures, or anything new and different. I can manage with one or two, it usually takes several of these factors before I shut down. Imagine getting sand in your eye, and needed to stop walking so you can get it out. All of the sensations that are typical for you would be sand in my eye. It’s not enough to stop me from living a fruitful life, but it tends to make me weary of socializing. The medication and treatment has helped, I can often ignore the sand in the eye sensation now.
I think there’s a second factor that has created the perfect storm, and it’s environmental. We live in a time where we need not even speak vocally to one another to convey a point. My FedEx delivery fellow doesn’t wait at the door, they knock and flee. Neighbors don’t talk to one another, we avoid eye contact wherever we go. Even our cashiers are automated now. I could, and before getting saved did, live comfortably with the most minimum amount of human contact. Once God, by His grace, made me a new creature, born again and desperately desiring fellowship with other saints and, even more desperately, to see the lost be saved, my attitude shifted. I was not magically enabled to work through the neurological and societal walls that made regular conversations so difficult, however I was compelled by love to leave my comfort zone. My husband and my daughter have helped tremendously, even from the beginning by encouraging me when I was simply able to say “good morning” to a neighbor. Yes, it started that small, my friends. I could talk to family, friends, co-workers, and I could even forcefully talk to strangers when the occasion presented itself. The change came from the heart, I wanted to do this, I needed to do this.
Now, we get to the knock on the door. The reason for the interruption in Tuesday’s series. I answered the door. I do that now. Previously, if some strangers knocked on the door, I’d quietly wait for them to leave. They told me they were from the Mormon church and wanted to share Jesus Christ, and peace with me. I asked them to, but they said they would have to come back, so we set up an appointment. Tomorrow at 12. Dear ones, the moment I shut the door I felt my heart drop. Where did the boldness come from to set up an appointment with two strangers come from? The Holy Spirit. In my great weakness He is strong, I believe that God will be glorified tomorrow. This week I have felt my inability more so than ever before, and as such I have felt my great need for God. I cherish this deep discomfort, the opportunity to share Christ with these two young men who have come to my door, has shown yet again that I am nothing without Christ.
I’ve spent the weekend and past couple days preparing. An elder at the church we’re visiting has given me good advice and assistance. I ask that you would all pray for me, and these two boys, as tomorrow comes. If you have advice, or something educational I can watch or read it would be greatly appreciated. I will attempt to record as much of the conversation as possible to share with you all. I do ask, again, that you would pray for me. I have a great need, I serve a great God. As always, beloved brethren, be good Berean’s and study to show yourselves approved.